I got a present today!

This is not precisely a Hanukka present but it has more significance than any of the presents I have ever received. My father, who had always been recluctant to accept my approximation to judaism and natürlich, even more recluctant to have me living in Israel, spoke to me on the night of the 23rd and well, we kinda told me he agreed and supported me. I say kinda, because what he actually said was "Well, I guess I'd have to start saving money to go visit you in Israel and learn hebrew so I can use it when I am there". This phrase is worth more than a million bucks to me! :-)

I also got another present, courtesy of the Tech Department, and exquisitely painted by Stefanie Goebel, one of my greatest friends at ECA, with a message on the background written by Diane DePauw, the ES Tech teacher and one of my everyday partners :-) Ain't it beautiful?

My farewell e-mail

From: Carlos Manuel Colina
Sent: Viernes, 14 de Diciembre de 2007 04:09 p.m.
To: General Information
Subject: On my way out..

Dear all,

The first time I came to ECA was exactly 3 years and four months ago, and I still remember that day; I was really impressed because I never thought an international school could be that big and with so many resources available. Now, not just I think the same but I also think ECA stands out because the quality of the people in it. These 3-and-something years have been very special to me, and I have grown a lot in many aspects: professionally, personally, spiritually and even physically -when I joined school I was a skinny brat weighting 160 lbs and now I weigh 180 (sometimes 182) . Now that I am not just about to leave ECA but also my beautiful Venezuela in a very short time, I want to thank you all for all those great moments we have spent together, all the laughs, the bad jokes, the tasty treats, all the knowledge I acquired from many of you, all the opportunities and yes, all the patience you had for me and even the times when I kicked my desk! The step I am taking now is going to change my life in many aspects but, also the time I have spent working with you guys has left a mark on my life as well; I have to admit that I was really lucky because I have been in a really well-knit team and also made great friends here.

I think I’m writing too much and getting too emotional for my taste, hehehe, so I guess I’ll finish this by saying that I am going to miss you a lot, and will always have you guys in my thoughts and prayers. If you ever get a chance to visit Israel, please do let me know; I’d be most glad to show you around, and you’ll have a place to stay with warm food and a drink; no pork allowed, obviously! Here is my e-mail address so we can be in touch anytime:

jewbask@gmail.com

It was simply great working with all of you. I am going to miss you all.

All the best,
Carlos

Carlos Manuel Colina - Information Systems Specialist
Escuela Campo Alegre
Final Calle La Cinta
Las Mercedes, Caracas 1060
Venezuela

The only way to stand Paris..

..and actually like her...

My resignation letter

Caracas, November 14, 2007

Ms. XXX
Superintendent

Dear XXX:
My three-year tenure at ECA has been one of the most challenging and rewarding periods of my career, and I regret having to make this difficult announcement: please consider this as my resignation from my position as your Information Systems Specialist, effective today November 14. I will continue at ECA until December 14th, which will be my last day at work, according to what Venezuelan labor law states.

Although I have enjoyed working at ECA and have learned a great deal, I would really like to operate in a wider IT sphere, and since the opportunities provided at ECA to people like me are limited, I feel that I should seek a position that allows newer challenges for me as an informatics engineer where I can better take advantage of my skills and continue to grow professionally. Not only have I enjoyed working at ECA but I have reinforced my team-working skills, among others; I have mastered how a really good tech department should be run and that’s something I’ll never forget.

But, as you know, my job has not changed in the three years I have been at ECA and I feel the need to grow professionally as well as financially, so I have felt compelled to explore outside job possibilities and new challenges.

I have been doing some research in the IT spheres in Israel, nowadays called the Silicon Wadi, due to its high development in Information Technology, and all my contacts over there have stressed the ever-continuous demand for multilingual IT professionals. Also, I have been investigating the opportunities in Germany and they also look promising, so I think I will have no difficulty finding a new position but deciding which one I will take.

Thank you for everything during all this time.

Sincerely,
Carlos Manuel Colina
Information Technology Specialist

CC: XYZ, Director of Technology

My English, it seems

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English 20% Dixie 20% Yankee 5% Upper Midwestern 0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

not my day..

Definitely I am getting to the very bottom of the abyss.. Today my stegrandma (my dad's stepmom, who raised him because his mom died when he was 4 years old) died, and I am very sorry for not being there, but also I dreamt of her at the precise hour she was leaving this world for a better (?) one: At 4 am today I told my friend Stefanie, in the dream, that my grandma (I couldn't recognize which of them) had jumped off the balcony. Also, My cellphone's two screens stopped working, so I cannot see who calls, what the text messages say or worse, even getting my contacts to call from a landline. I went to Digi-shit and the phone's warranty expired, so to my surprise, I asked to have my loyalty bonus points traded for a phone, and they tell me I am NOT registered in the system, after 2 years of being a premium postpaid user, paying a fortune every month! Bastards...Oh, and I am still homeless, working with anti-semite bosses, and the letters from the Synagogue and the Israeli Association are still in process! and all the stress is weakening my system's defenses and I am developing laryngitis, again :-(

I hope I can bounce back from all this..I will, eventually.

Ani lomed ivrit batimi ba'bait..

The books are certainly working. Or, perhaps I'm quite good at languages. I have been testing myself and I am proud to say that now I can follow ALL the prayers using 100% hebrew siddurim -yeah, no phonetic help anymore for me! Plus, I am getting more and more words out of the gossips I hear in the synagogue (they don't know it yet). The books and my mentors Sarit Hadad, Dana International, Dudu Tasa, Ninet Tayeb, Ivri Lider, Miri Mesika, Eyal Golan, Shlomi Saranga, Ofra Haza, Zohar Argov, Subliminal, Ayala Ingedashet, Shiri Maimon, Arkadi Duchin, Nikka, Ethnix, Monika Sex and Dana Berger have contributed greatly to this..oh, and Yair Lapid and his comments!

"Al-Quds Day" in Iran

This is just so ridiculous. Al-Quds Day? Iran's government is so focused on messing up with Israel.. Will these guys ever realize that jews are here to stay? I wonder how much money they spend on paying people to hold a rally in the streets of Tehran, instead of using that money to empower their oppressed minorities and the povery that is clearly shown on the slums around Tehran and the other major Iranian cities. How shameful!

Ivrit bkalut? we'll see then

I have been buying some hebrew-language learning books, like these: I showed them to rab Medina, and he told me "these books will help you a lot, believe me". Well, let's see how it goes and perhaps I will say "ivrit bkalut" sooner than expected!

Israeli NeoNazis?

Yeah, the term sounds so ridiculous and ironic, but it's true. This week the Israeli Police reported having caught a group of 10-12 israelis , all FSU olim (immigrants that got to Israel through the Israeli Law of Return), members of a Neo-Nazi gang that was attacking kippa-wearing jews, foreign guest workers, drug addicts and gays. They even had planned to celebrate in the name of Hitler at Yad Vashem. These guys declared to the Israeli Police to be christians and that they had sprayed swastikas on synagogues in the Gush Dan. It's ironic that the Law of Return allows to emigrate to Israel people that is not halachically jewish (either born from a jewish mother or converted through an orthodox Bet Din) some of these people not only doesn't even care to convert to the religion of the country of their ancestors but tries to harm it on its most sensitive part. Alas, if you're applying for the benefit of living in Israel and escaping the impoverished and corrupt ex-FSU (not that Venezuela is less corrupt) at least have the decency of showing some respect to your new count!ry Yes, it's a benefit living in Israel and coming as an oleh, because you get money, social security and you will be living in the country with the 22nd highest standard of living in th world, second in Asia only to Japan and superior to Hong Kong, Singapore, the Czech Republic, Greece, Slovenia, Hungary, Portugal and Spain. But OK, fine, you're not gonna convert and continue as any other russian, then cool. Dude, but do not become a jew-hater in Israel, for Pete's sake! Do you know what's ironic? If the Nazis existed now, these guys would be sent to the ovens as my ancestors were, because they had some jewish blood! And yes, I would've been sent too and fried as a pork rind. And they dare to praise Hitler and all the bloody ones that persecuted and killed their grandparents too!

I know, I shouldn't dump all the shit on them.. it's also the system, it seems the whole absorption process needs to be revised. The Ethiopian olim have had lots of adaptation issues but that's another story. Indeed, that is on a different context because their Ethiopian culture and environment is diametrically different to the israeli's, which is definitely european with a twist. But Russia is an European country, with a culture somewhat similar to that of Israel, where the ashkenazi zionist hiloni establishment (I don't have anything against my ashkenazi+zionist+hilonim friends, OK?) has tried to standardize all jews (with the anuence of quite a few hypocritical haredi sepharadim who just care about power) into sepharadim and ashkenazim, sometimes ignoring their different cultural differences and ignoring the needs of a particular group. Yes, when th ex-FSU olim started arriving to Israel en masse in the 90s the whole country mobilised to receive them, and they have adapted quite well, becoming proud israeli citizens, some very religious, some not that much but still proud of being what they are: Israelis, Jews and yes, Russian Jews :-) A recent investigation showed that some ex-FSU (and ethiopian) olim are not finishing school and hence limiting their chances of integrating in the israeli society and thus locking themselves in a social ghetto, definitely a consequence of the soviet assimilation and secularization policies. The ulpanim definitely work, true, but how about the social structures, are the olim's adaptation to the new country being followed up? I ignore if that is being taken care of. And please don't say "it is costly" because the Israel's reason d'etre is gathering and sheltering and protecting all jews, no matter if they are affluent British jews, religious chabadniks from Brooklyn or Toronto, chinese-looking Bnei Menashe, secular and working-class argentinian jews, ethiopian cattle herders or portuguese and aragonese-speaking Bnei Anousim or even half-jews, being them russian, falash mura, amazon jews or any other. Money should be found to support a better adaptation of olim to the israeli society, instead of spending money on bribes or supporting unviable settlements in the West Bank -yes, some of them should be dismantled, it's more the cost than the benefit so let's be realistic. But no, now the government is cutting the money to organizations that help these kids that have had a hard time to adapt to their new reality as Israelis instead of increasing it as part of the immigrant absorption support plans. FUCK! :-( I dunno, maybe I'm talking too much shit, this neo-nazi group thing definitely affected me, and especially on this days before Rosh Hashanah. Man, i feel so embarrassed! :-(

Almost there...

I'm working very hard to get all my papers and travel to Israel to finish my conversion. I know, I still need some papers but I'm getting close to it. As soon as the hagim end, I should have all of them and do what I have been wishing big time for the last 5-10 years, with an intensity growing as time passes by. So.. it;s coming :-)

Eskriviéndo en djudeoespanyol

I have found a MAJOR pastime, hobby, and source of entertainment/growth (personal, cultural, intellectual). Writing, standardizing and correcting articles for the Ladino Language Wikipedia. This is my profile, which contains links to all of the articles I have worked with. I have become so fascinated with this language and all it means to (us) sephardic jews - what differentiates sephardim the most from the rest of jews, especially ashkenazim, who constitute the mayority of the world's jewry but not Israel's, where sepharadim + mizrahim are the majority, whilst somewhat discriminated by the secular ashkenazi establishment, but that's another story. Every time I go to the synagogue I listen to some words in ladino or in haketia (the moroccan/algerian variant of ladino, whose eastern/turkish variant, usually known as djudeoespanyol, is currently the most spoken) and that definitely inspired me. Ladino is the bond that links all sephardic jews that, after being expelled from the Iberian Peninsula in 1492, took with them as their most precious treasure, even more so than the gold and all the riches that secured their lives; they took it with them to their own Diaspora, because they considered Spain their homeland (yeah, Toledo wasn't called The Jerusalem of the West in vain) and they enriched it with the vernacular languages of their newly adoptive countries: Arabic, Italian, Turkish, Greek, Bulgarian, Serbo-Croatian and of course, Hebrew, the holiest language ever, French, influenced by the Alliance Israélite Universelle and Spanish, Catalan/Valencian/Aragonese, Galician and Portuguese, the languages of the lands they left behind. Sephardim are so attached to Ladino that there were cities like Salonika, where it came to be the commercial language of the entire city. Many sephardim found refuge in the Ottoman Empire, where the sultans opened their doors to them, aware of the value that was protecting a small, close-knit community with ties to many places in Europe (good vision, boys) and the oh-so-open-minded Dutch did the same, and an era of trade blossomed, thanks to the sephardim in the Mediterranean, The Netherlands, the Hanseatic city of Hamburg, the French Midi, The Kingdom of Venice and the Maghreb, where sephardim ued to be the links between the local authorities and the foreign traders, sephardim as well. Also, The Franco-Spanish Colonization of Northern Africa favoured the role of polyglot Sephardim who acted as a bridge between French/Spanish colonizers and Arab and Berber speakers. The language thrived for a long time.. but then WWII came and the Nazis took the city of Salonika, which was in Greek hands, who were not thirsty of jewish blood at all. But the Nazis almost extinguished all the jews in Salonika. This text is from Wikipedia:

During Ottoman times, the city received an influx of Muslims and Jews. By 1478, Thessaloniki had a population of 4,320 Muslims and 6,094 Greek Orthodox, as well as some Catholics, but no Jews. By c1500, the numbers had grown to 7,986 Greeks and 8,575 Muslims, briefly making the latter the majority. Around the same time, Jews were arriving from Spain. In c1500, there were only 3,770 Jews, but by 1519, there were 15,715, 54% of the city. The invitation of the Sephardic Jews that had been expelled from Spain by Ferdinand and Isabella, was an Ottoman demographic strategy aiming to prevent the Greek element from dominating the city. The Sephardic Jews, Muslims and Greek Orthodox remained the principal groups in the city for the next 4 centuries. The city remained the largest Jewish city in the world for at least two centuries, and of its 130,000 inhabitants at the start of the 20th century, around 60,000 were Sephardic Jews out of a total population of almost 120,000. Some Romaniote Jews were also present.

Ladino has aroused the interest of linguists because it preserves gramatical structures from Old Spanish; it's like speaking in the language of El Quixote with a turkish or arabic accent, to a certain extent :-) It fascinates me because of all the background it has, perhaps richer than yiddish and because it is linked both to my (non-jewish) hispanic and Dutch/Altoner roots. Here are my two cents to contribute to enrich ladino and help it from disappearing more than 500 years of a culture that still mourns being separated from its mother land. Ke biva el lashon djudeoespayol!

HS Production..

And I thought my performance as priest Francisco De Madariaga was awkward when I was in High School! Definitely things change over time...

Quoting Pilar Rahola

Pilar Rahola is a Catalan nationalist and anti-fascist journalist, writer an politician. She wrote this article that appeared on the kehilla's weekly newspaper, Nuevo Mundo Israelita. I'm going to quote her on this article, because I found it funny, sarcastic and at the same time interestingly refreshing to me as a jew:

Un chiste lo resume de forma magnífica: un día, un judío subió a la montaña y, al bajar, aseguró: “Dios es la verdad, y la verdad está en la Ley”. Se llamaba Moisés. Siglos después, otro judío aseveró: “La verdad es Dios, y Dios es amor”. Se llamaba Jesús. Luego apareció otro que, sin amor divino, aseguró que la verdad era el dinero. Era un tal Karl Marx. Después llegó Freud y situó la verdad algo más abajo del bolsillo, en la zona crucial de la entrepierna. Y, para acabar el círculo, apareció el judío Einstein y lo barrió todo: “La verdad es relativa”.

"this paragraph can roughly be translated as this: A joke resumes this in a magnific way: One day, a jew climbed to the top of the mountain and when he came down he assured "G'd is the truth, and the truth is in the Halacha (the Law)". His name was Moses. Centuries after that, another jew came and said "The truth is G'd, and G'd is love". His name was Jesus. After that, another one came and, whihout a trace of divine love, assured that the truth was the money. He was some guy named Karl Heinrich Marx. After that came Sigmund Schlomo Freud and he placed the truth was a little below the pockets, in the crucial area between the thighs. And at the end, to finish the circle, Albert Einstein Koch showed up and swept everything off by just saying "the truth is just relative"."

Just a few words that make me so proud of being jewish...!עם ישראל חי

Charming Panama..

After opening my account at Banistmo, who was recently acquired by HSBC and who will become HSBC Panama soon, and especially after Roxana, the nice and courteous lady who helped me opening my account after I shocked her telling all our sad stories about the tight currency exchange controls we have been living under this f**kin' government, we went to a HUGE Kosher supermarket to buy some food, and then left for the Royal Decameron Playa Blanca Resort, which is approximately 1.5 hours away by car. The only word I have to say about the hotel is Excellent. I can't complain, definitely. Good food, excellent drinks, nice beds, nice and clean beach, excellent service. Perfect :-)

At the end of my stay in Panama, we went to many places in the city, sort of a quick tour. Actually I don't like quickies, but oh, what to do, I had no time! I LOVED the old city, UNESCO World Heritage Site, which is slowly being restored to its original Spanish port charm.

and of course, the Panama Canal! what impressed me the most was not the magnificence of such a work of hardcore engineering, but how pristine and practically untouched is the rainforest that surrounds the Canal. Ja, natürlich, that rainforest feeds the Gatún river, the river that feeds Gatún Lake, one of the largest artificial lakes, and hence Panama Canal, what really moves this country's economy because it has no natural resources and needs the income that generates the canal, especially now that they're expanding it (yeah, making it wider so post-panamax ships can cross it) and enforcing the country as the commercial, financial and transportation hub of the Americas, something that COPA Airlines is definitely committed to achieve and dethrone Miami :-) After that, I returned to Caracas, via Bogotá, flying Avianca, so I could earn more SkyMiles.. I will come back, Panamá. Promise

Ma, I'm in Panama City!

One thing I didn't like that much of traveling to Panama was having to wake up at 3:00 AM to leave for the airport, and once I was there at 3:55 AM, the queue was full already so I had to wait for about 35 minutes to check my luggage and ticket. Oh, and the transit area at El Dorado Airport in Bogotá 9I flew Avianca to earn more Delta Airlines' SkyMiles. Otherwise, I loved it! Especially Tocumen International Airport in Panama City. Very modern and efficient, a real example of how an airport becomes an intercontinental hub :-)

And there was my friend Ivan, laughing at me because I was furious with Digitel, because I called a week ago to activate my international roaming service, and it was NOT activated! Thank G'd he knows some guy at Digitel's roaming service who activated my phone's. I was indeed pissed off, but seeing Panama City's sykline from the highway that brought us from the airport was definitely a relief. Very, very nice, as in the real estate mags we get here in Venezuela, with all the projects and prospects for buying a flat there .. well, here

I survived מאה שערים...

..this time I don't mean the fast itself, but the thing that on the eve of the fast of the seventeenth of Tammuz, I attended a farewell party for rabbi Mamrutt, the rabbi who used to give shiurim every thursday to a group of young people in Los Chorros. The problem was actually where the party was; it was going to be held at Bet Shemuel, a sephardi haredi synagogue in La Florida with a branch in the eastern part of Caracas, in Los Dos Caminos. These guys have the closest resemblance to Mea Shearim one can find in Caracas and due to this, I was kinda scared to attend, despite feeling affection for the rab. Anyway, I told Dani (my mentor and one of my best friends) about it and aksed him for counseking on what to do; so, he told me to go, since I was invited by the rab himself, but told me to follow their customs or at least not offend them by following these rules:

• Do not wear eye-catching colors like red, orange or light green
• Do not wear scratched/tore pants or pants with holes, like the "modern" jeans
• Do not wear too tight t-shirts
• Do not wear a crocheted kippa under any reason; do wear a dark-colour velvet or satin one
• Do not wear sandals or anything that shows your feet
• Do not wear too much cologne
  
• Sit down quietly and listen to every speech, and don't chat during the speeches, and
• DO NOT kiss any girl under any circumstance!

Anyway, I went down to the supermarket and bought two cans of Pringles, which are kosher and Josef told me to take to the party and then took a cab, dressed sharply neat, in a combination that might have been approved by them: dark jeans (something between dark green and black), a white long-sleeved shirt (a designer one; sorry, I'm a Delta Nu) under a black long sleeved sweater, brown Merrell shoes, a little mousse on my hair and a black velvet kippa. And most importantly, my three-week beard which Dani thinks makes me look like a hidden taliban in an israeli suit, hehehe.

The outfit proved to be so bloody good that Mr. Garzón, the president of Bet Shemuel (sephardi synagogues have a president, who leads the administrative part, and the rabbi, who is the spiritual guide) got close to me as soon as all the speeches ended and asked me what my name was, and if I attended a synagogue. Natürlich, I told him "my name is Carlos Manuel, Carlos Manuel Colina, and I go to Bet El". He just smiled widely and said "well, welcome to Bet Shemuel, you are welcomed any time you want to attend shiurim, pray or just visit us". I was kinda scared because nobody except my rabbi in there knew I am converting, so that would cause a BIG problem. Perhaps my looks helped me -thanks Mom and Dad for making me look the way I do, so perfectly northern moroccan that a Melillero would always tell me that I look like so-and-so- and the fact that I sat down, paid attention to all of the speeches, the brief shiur and prayed the Kaddish the way it should be done; in fact, it was the most perfect Kaddish I have ever prayed without a prayer book, hehe :-D

Every single aspect of my conversion should have the slogan used by McDonald's - I'm lovin' it!

الجنّة الآن

Last night I saw the Palestinian movie Paradise Now. I have to admit that I kinda liked it.. no, I really liked it. Even though I consider myself a zionist and sometimes a kind of revisionist, I realize that the palestinians need a place to be in the Middle East..the problem is that two people consider the same piece of land as their own, regardless of who's right and who's not, who's managed it better and who's not. I understood the despair of some palestinians trapped in an underdeveloped place that is collapsing due to poor mismanagement and lots of corruption, while some bloody guy brainwashes them saying that if they kill israelis, they will go to heaven guided by two angels. How can he prove that? Bullshit!

Another thing I liked was Suha becoming the guys' conscience, with the contrast that he is the daughter of a great Palestinian militant. She insisted on telling them that there are other ways to achieve what they want, and she was giving a try. And the last scene, when they depart from tore down, seized by gangs and chaotic Nablus and enter the secular, open coastal and very european Greater Tel Aviv (the Gush Dan) passing by Ramat Gan and its impressive skyscrapers. A stark contrast that made me think a lot of what we should do to solve the Israeli-Palestinian problem, to somehow help aleviate the damage we have done accidentally and intentionally.. but not forgetting that the other arabs (and many palestinians abroad) simply don't seem to care much, except for Jordan. Hizbullah doesn't care about the Palestinians, they just see their support as a mean of conquering the whole Middle East, expel all jews and christians and impose an Islamic State from Morocco to Mumbai; that's all

I even liked the final scene. The guy did what he thought he wanted to -give a meaning to his poor life. Too bad he took a lot of israelis on his way..

Copa América Venezuela '07

Soccer has never been a popular sport in Venezuela except for the Andean States: Táchira, Mérida and Trujillo. But I have to admit that in this occasion, the national robolutionary government has scored well with the organization of Copa América 2007, since it is a golden opportunity to boost the growth of such sport in the rest of the country and quit being the Cinderella of South America once and for all. Let's see how we do! :-)

Bearded Delta?

I just decided not to shave for some time, before the fast of 17th of Tammuz. When Dani saw me, he said "man, you look like Tarkan or one of those arabs in the shoestores downtown!" Didn't know if smiling back in reply, grin, or insult him!


How do I look? Ana' Masri? La.. ;-)

te apagaron, RTCV...

The original government slogan has the same phrase without the question marks. But definitely, Venezuela is not everybody's anymore >:-/ Chávez dared to terminate the concession to the only TV network with nationwide coverage and using a court order, took control of its antennas and transmitters so his new channel would have coverage in all the country to broadcast his brainwashing messages. You'll pay for all this one day, you bastard...

My first Shiur -no, not Sony!

I had always been invited by Shomron to attend these shiurim at Los Chorros. I had never attended before because.. I dunno, it sounded kinda boring to me. But I definitely decided to join, since I thought it could be good to "socialize" with other young jews and also to learn more from the Torah and the Talmud with a rabbi, in a relaxed environment. But as I know how I am, I was decided to join and make a shocking debut. I decided to wear one of my favourite T-shirts, this one:The text imprinted on the t-shirt says "ten li neshiká, ki ani yehudi!", which can be translated as "kiss me, I'm jewish!". Of course, I didn't know anybody but Shomron, who, as usual, arrived late. So I just introduced myself with the help of a girl, Sol, who lives in the same building where the shiurim are held. She said "oh, you are new here right? let me introduce you to the rest of the people". Like Dani said, my admission to the late teenagers and young adults of the community would be easied by the fact that I look like a very stereotypical sephardi jew, so nobody would even wonder if I had a drop of goy blood. In fact, at the end of that night, Roni (Sol's brother) and Sol drove me home and asked me where my family came from, and when I said my family came from Altona, Osnabrück, Münster and Utrecht, she was startled and said "but wait a minute, you look like a guy from Melilla, how come?". Then I noticed something -I know more about the diaspora, Israel and judaism in general than many contemporary guys and girls. I had to explain her than there had been a sephardi community in Altona, a district of Hamburg, since the 1600s. I was impressed, these kids have been taking classes of Jewish History, Hebrew Language and Torah since kindergarden and at home, and they don't know such things! give me a break.

Anyway, the funny thing came when rab Mamrutt entered the hut where we have our shiurim, and he noticed my t-shirt, he smiled widely, said "oh, a proud frum!" and kissed me on both cheeks, in the usual sephardic manner.So I guess I passed the test, because being in a group of sepharadim talking about religion, making questions and surrounded and observed as the "new" by haredi rabbis and not just no making them suspicious but pleasing them with my answers, questions and pride of being jewish... man, וואדי הסיליקון, here I go! :-)

reinventing מצה

I had almost one box of matzá full that I didn't finish eating on Passover. I decided to reinvent them as the so-called Matza balls. They are a little sticky until you boil them; I think it was a nice way of trying something very ashkenazi. Oy, next time I guess I'll try cooking gefilte fish ;-)

לג בעומר a la venezolana

Lag ba'Omer falls on the 33rd day of the counting of the Omer, as counted from the second day of Passover until Shavuot. The day is also the Yortsayt, the anniversary of the death, of the Rabbi Shimon bar Yohai who wrote the Zohar, which is the landmark text of Jewish mysticism. It's strange to "celebrate" the anniversary of the death of such a great Rabbi with music and joy, but anyway..

My friend Shomron, who is always inviting me to attend Shurim (like informal workshops related to judaism topics, guided by rabbis or talmidei chachamim, mostly directed to young people of both sexes) and for many different reasons I have let him down, invited many people in my synagogue (young people) tho celebrate Lag ba'Omer in a place in Los Chorros, the same place where they have their shiurim. This time, since my friend Dani is leaving next Saturday for Spain to study and get ready for his masters course, I decided to attend - I dunno, it just felt it was right to attend and celebrate in the right way, with the right people. Besides, Shomron and his band were going to play. In Lag ba'Omer and I wanted to see them playing. The prohibitions of the Omer period may be suspended for the day, or cease, according to one's custom. It is a time of dancing and singing. Especially in Israel, where it is a school holiday and families go on picnics with bonfires, BBQs and stuff, and kids go out to the fields with their teachers with bows and rubber arrows, and bats and balls, because another of the origins of Lag ba'Omer is that 24,000 students were killed in the Bar Kokhba revolt (in which Rabbi Akiva was a major figure) and some others say that they were killed by a plague, and others say that the plague was indeed the Roman occupation. In such context, the lighting of bonfires on Lag ba'Omer seems logical to me because in the past bonfires were used as signals in wartime. Tachanun, the prayer for special Divine Mercy on one's behalf is not said, because when G'd is showing one a "smiling face," so to speak, as He does especially on the Holidays, there is no need to ask for special mercy.

This celebration was very interesting, because even since at the beginning it seemed like just another Shirech in which you are like "induced" to meet people of both genders in a "controlled" environment, this time was very informal, an argentinian rabbi (the one that guides the Shiurim and teaches at Hebraica and seemed to know many of the guys & gals) did some very interesting magic tricks that left us with our eyes and mouths wide open and even I just knew 4 guys and one girl out of 50-something people, I really had a good time, and had even the chance of you know, tharing with young jews like me and especially apart from the fact that it seems that I accidentally marketed myself (I really never expected to have someone lay my eyes on me last night!) and there are quite a few potential customers, hehehe. Oh and the music, despite the sound system's quality was kinda poor, was good itself, really good I have to admit. I'm starting to like pop-rock in hebrew, and maybe I'll find a percussionist in the kehilla to help me excel at playing the darbouka ;-)

बॉलीवुड in Caracas .. Arre Kya Baat Hai!

I was invited to an Indian party yesterday. My friend Shashi invited me to a singing contest organized by the members of the Indian Association, an NGO that groups all the indian citizens living in Caracas, who are mostly employees of trasnationals like Siemens, P&G, Schlumberger or ChevronTexaco. It was AWESOME, since I love indian culture, I love indian food, I love Hindipop (esp. Alisha Chinai) and Bollywood movies (Saif Ali Khan, Akshay Kumar, Priyanka Chopra, Dimple Kapadia, John Abraham, Dino Morea, Lara Dutta, Aamir Khan, Shilpa Shetty, Abhishek Bachchan, Boman Irani, Kareena Kapoor and of course, megababe Aishwarya Rai are among my favourite indian movie stars). Oh, I forgot to say that my boss is indian, one of my workmates is indian, and there are 9 students from India in school, so...you get the picture. One funny thing -Apart from an american married to an indian lady, I was the only non-indian invited to the place, hehehe :-D

Almost everybody was wearing shalwar kameez, saris, kurtas, kurtis or anything similar whose name I dunno. But still, everybody looked proudly Desi, hehehe. The contest was divided in six groups, each one of them had to guess, mimick and sing some bollywood songs, and that, to be honest, is quite difficult because India produces more than 800 movies a year, and most of them are musicals, with an average of 30 songs per movie, so go figure how many songs the organizers (Shashi, Richa, Priyanka, and some other folks whose names I can't remember ATM) could choose from! The contest itself was quite fun, take a look at the photos.

Then the food came, mostly North Indian food and not Southern Indian food as I am used to (my boss is from Kerala and Shashi is from Karnataka) -but excellent anyway!

At some point, I started to think of the differences and similarities between Indian/Hindustan/Afghan and Middle Eastern (Arabic, Jewish, Georgian, Turkish, Greek, Persian, Armenian, Kurdish, Tajik) culture.. they're very similar in many aspects, perhaps because Indian culture was heavily influenced by the persians during the Mughal Empire and hence the common stuff:

• Passion for music and similar stringed (sitar, oud, bouzouki) wind (duduk, düdük, ney, pungi) and percussion (tabla, tonbak, dounbek, darbouka) instruments
• Passion for food: rice, the bread (naan, porotta, paratha, pide, pita), kabab/kebab/kabob, ambode/falafel, youghurt, and of course, spicy food and pork is forbidden and dirty as s**t
• Passion for life: Among other things I noticed, people is VERY noisy when celebrating and when competing and someone makes a mistake, hehehe
• Passion about their beliefs: being Jewish, Hindu, Coptic Orthodox, Sikh, Sunni Muslim, Assyrian/Chaldean Orthodox, Shiite Muslim, Armenian Apostolic, Eastern Orthodox Christian, Ibadi Muslim, Syrian Christian of Kerala, Bahá'í, Parsi, Jain, Melkite Catholic, Syriac Orthodox, Armenian Catholic or Maronite Catholic, all of us are as attached to our roots as to our beliefs, which are an integral part of it

Definitely we are part not just of a language continuum but a culture continuum, that stretches from the Mediterranean to the Bay of Bengal, and from the Caucasus to the Arabian Sea. One can tell how the language, culture, food, clothes and physical appearance slowly changes from East to West and from North to South, but the essence remains :-)

Look at this video - too bad I forgot to turn the mike on!

and this other video:



Oh, and a photo of the winners, of course! !מזל טוב

Frankenstein's שמאָק

Today I went to see Dr. Seemann so he could check how my new penis was evolving. He was gladly impressed that my wounds are perfectly healed and it is not as swollen as usually expected. He told me "I haven't seen a person heal so quickly in a very long time, and boy, I have been a doctor for a while!". He ordered me to stop wearing the wounds dressing and let the wounds "breathe" naturally since the stitches are absorbable sutures and they will be absorbed by my body slowly and the wounds heal.

Still, I have to take the usual care for a wound, such as washing them with Betadine after I shower, every time I go to the bathroom and before sleeping, and I need to wear loose clothing and boxers until I am fully used to the sensation of having my glans exposed and of course, diazepam if I need to inhibit the morning wood (I definitely need these pills) for perhaps the next couple of weeks to avoid having the wounds reopened and NO SEX IN 60 DAYS. He clearly told me "just touch it to clean it, boy; nothing else for now". Shit!

I was seriously thinking of posting a picture of the stitches so you could see how it looks like, but I don't know if Blogger will ban me then for inappropriate behavior regarding personal photos, hehehe. In the meantime, I am home with no underwear so أبو علي takes some air ;-)

Oh, the name of the post? Well, I have 29 stitches around my penis and it is swollen and with small bruises, so I guess Dr. Frankenstein's creation must have Ein kleiner Freund like mine :-D

!אֲנִי כָּשֵר

I was circumcised last night by Dr. Seemann. I feel okay but it is a nuisance the contact of my glans to the underwear and the stitches feel like a little burning. I'll post more details tomorrow as I am heading to have some dinner (with no liquid to avoid a night erection that might compromise the stitching) and then off to bed again to continue reading Schindler's List. I feel a little weird and walk funny to avoid friction.. but I am kosher now, B"H!

Kosher AFTER Passover

5767's Passover will always be in my mind because is the last jewish holiday I will experiment being uncircumcised. Right after I was born, I fell very sick and I had severe neonatal jaundice, which took me apart from my mom for some weeks, and after that I was still weak so my father, who wanted me to be circumcised like him (yeah, he might hide his jewish blood but he would never let a son of his be like a cabriolet!) forgot about it, but I remember during my childhood he always said he wanted me to undergo circumsicion, to what my grandma and my mom always reacted against. Well, my rabbi strongly suggested me to have it now before I finish my conversion so I can take advantage of the medical insurance paid by ECA. So, I'm going to be operated on a week after Passover and thus ceasing to be a convertible, hehehe

One of the things I have learnt this Passover is that I will never, EVER buy any Couscous for Passover made out of matzo meal. My growing reputation as a couscousier (or whichever the person that cooks coscous is called) was severely affected for my attempt to make couscous with nuts (Almonds, Macadamia Nuts, Peanuts, Walnuts, Cashews, and Nuts) to go with my stew of meat, sausages, potatoes and red beans. Crap!
Another interesting thing about Passover is that we get to do LOTS of shopping, and this time not just for TONS of food but sometimes also for new clothing to use during the holidays as it is a very special occasion -it HAS to be special, we would still be in Egypt as slaves hadn't been for all that happened with the guidance of Moshe Rabenu! My favourite part is buying food, definitely! Anyway, I forgot to shave after the first two nights, so now I am waiting till the end of the holiday to shave -and I should to the same to my private parts as the operation is fast approaching- and bored out to death at home since our dearest president declared a Dry Law prohibiting the sell of alcohol and also since we can't enter most places that sell or are in contact with chametz (areperas, cafés, restaurants, movie theaters that sell tequeños, sushi bars and that kind of stuff) I am screwed doing nothing at home. Fuck...

By the way, don't I look like of the Istanbul Boys? (raising an eyebrow)

emepetrés

I had alwayas been hesitant to buy such a fashionable thing like a mp3 player; I don't know, maybe just because I didn't see them useful except for isolating from the rest of the world while one walks, which I can do (in fact I ALWAYS do that) without earphones, hehehe. But one day I started thinking of how nice it would be to travel while I listen to my favourite songs, which I can rarely find on a radio station here -sometimes I don't know who made me like the music of Despina Vandi, Dana International, Sarit Hadad, Irini Merkouri, Elena Paparizou, Ethnix, Dudu Tasa, Sertab Erener, Nancy Ajram, Nawal El Zoughbi, Shlomi Saranga, Zulpikar Zaitov, Lior Narkis, Ivri Lider, Anna Vissi, Ofra Haza, Tarkan, Sarbel, Severina Vučković, Orel Hen & Stalos, Jana Karleuša, Yasmin Levy, Arkadi Duchin, Dana Berger, Željko Joksimović, Tina Karol, Mihai Trăistariu, Shiri Maimon, Sibel Tüzün, and of course Shahrizoda! No, I didn't have enough with Paulina Rubio, Nelly Furtado, Christina Aguilera, Daddy Yankee, Don Omar, Tito El Bambino, Shakira, Cher, Whitney Houston, Mecano, Mariah Carey, Alanis Morrisette, Marilyn Manson, Vanilla Ninja and Aterciopelados. I HAD to ask for something different!

Anyway, after some research, and decided NOT to buy an iPod and become part of the industry standard again (Both my PC and my PDA both run on Microsucks Windows) I bought a SanDisk Sansa e250. Here it is:

Mine is an e250, with 2GB of flash memory and a slot for SD Micro Cards, a 1.8" (4.6 cm) QCIF+ LCD screen, with a resolution of 176×220. It's a good alternative to an iPod Nano, though; it has an FM radio and stuff, and LOT cheaper, since it costed me 106$ with the "condom" (the silicone protective cover) on amazon.com. It's not perfect, though: I have had to low-level format it twice since it seems deleting and deleting files corrupt the file system, which is based on Linux or something like that *SHRUGS*

Anyway, Sandisk's Tech Support has been SUPERB and so far (thx Najeer and Kimberley!) and I still recommend people to buy one of this Lil'Monstas ;-)

Ju'er diablo, ahi viene la novia!

So finnaly, after more than one year of planning, the D-day has finally come! My cousin is getting married in the beautiful Margarita Island!

My journey to Margarita Island started at 3:00 AM on Thursday morning when my alarm clock rang. I had booked a cab for 4:15 AM so it could drive me to the bus station near Parque Central where thr airport shuttle buses depart/arrive since 5 AM. Obviously, I didn't want to get late to the airport and I arrived WAY too early, which gave me time to wander around the national terminal for a little while, and thus I had the chance of taking this magnificent view (according to Manena) of the National Terminal while I was waiting for my LASER Airlines flight that took take me on time to meet the gringos (my cousin's new family) and also lots of relatives that I haven't even seen in my entire life!

My mission at the wedding was being the "link" between the american and the venezuelan families, since nobody else but my cousin and I speak both languages. That was quite entertaining and exhausting as well since I had to keep my brain active most of the times, switching between languages, expressions and even jokes! But it was definitely worth it. Matt's family is very, very nice and his friends are very kind and funny and I had a wonderful time taling, eating, shopping, drinking, and dancing with them (yeah Megan, you're a good dancer). And being Ana's man of trust was quite an experience, from making sure every single person was sitting on the place SHE (yeah, you bitchy-bossy lady, you got me a headache!) chose at the church (yeah, me, the jewish cousin, making sure everything was OK at the church.. ain't that ironic?) and also at the tables; yes, there were not just tables assigned, in each table, people had their seats named and everything! Oh and also making sure people got in and out of the church in the order specified for her.. man, that was quite an experience!

But apart from all that, I had a goal: Taking grandma from Barquisimeto by plane so she could attend her niece's (and g'daughter) wedding. It was a very stressful thing for me because my grandma had never travelled by plane, EVER! and she hadn't travelled alone by bus farther than San Felipe, which is 45 minutes away from Barquisimeto by car. But you know, my girl did it not just well, she just hit the ball like a slugger! She had to take one flight Barquisimeto-Caracas and then after 45 minutes, take another flight Caracas-Margarita, where my cousin was waiting for her to pick her up and taking her to the hotel where we stayed. I was SO happy to have her with me for the wedding! Of course, apart from attending the wedding we did eating out and shopping together, including household items, high heel shoes, a purse, a pashmina and a spiked skirt for her that when entering the church the wind blew very hard, what made aunt Elizabeth say "look, there's Angela coming like The Woman in red"! Natürlich, I bought shoes for me as well, hehehe :-D

But it was all worth it, from having coffee with Matt's mom to dance tambores barefoot to taking care of drunken cousins, it was all so fuckin'good! I'm really happy for Ana and Matt that they finally got married the way they wanted, with all the people they wanted to celebrate with, all their loved ones. And they looked oh-so-cute!. Wanna see more photos? click here

!פורים שמח

This text is Shoshanat Ya'akov, a prayer included in the Song of Songs and recited especially in Purim, after the Megillah is read. Purim is a very important jewish holiday, in which jews all over the globe celebrate how we escaped of anihilation (yeah, Hitler wasn't the only one who wanted to fry us like tequeños) thanks to Esther and her cousin Mordechai, with the help of their braveness and their faith in G'd, of course. We fast on Purim's eve, as the custom in those times was fasting before a battle to achieve both spiritual and body purity.

Something really strange happened to me while fasting. Since I wasn't eating for obvious reasons, I took my lunch time to read about Purim, but then something I don't know made me stop reading and walk downstairs to the K-12 lounge of my school. There was a box full of used books left by someone; usually when people at ECA wants to get rid of books, they leave a box in that lounge instead of trashing them away. I usually take a look at these boxes because sometimes people leaves interesting books, which always makes me stop by and sneak into the box to see if there's anything of my interest -no, not porn! (I mean, not in the boxes)


So guess what was the book that was sitting on the top of the box? The book that inspired Steven Spielberg to film Schindler's List. Yes, true. This is it:


And BRAND NEW. Ain't it interesting that while fasting on the eve of a celebration of how we jews escaped from anihilation more than 2,000 years ago, I find a book that tells the tale of Oskar Schindler, a Sudeten-German Catholic businessman who was instrumental in saving the lives of over one thousand Polish Jews during the Holocaust? And if we add that I lost some distant relatives during the Holocaust, that makes me think AGAIN that there are no coincidences in life...ever